Day 7: kaleidoscope

I carried my father’s shattered dreams on my shoulders 

The weight sat heavy most days

The pieces rattled and clinked against one another like broken glass

Some pieces sharp and jagged,

Which could cut with a single touch

Other pieces shined with glints of colors

Collected over the years 

So that when the sun beamed on and through them,

A kaleidoscope took shape

And unexpectedly shined brightly

He carried two suitcases full of memories that belonged to the life he left behind

Las memorias de su tierra 

Los sonidos de la risa de su mamá 

Las lecciones que su padre le enseñó. 

The weight on my shoulders has lightened over the years

But there are days when a single memory could weigh down on me

The memories from his country, which he had to leave behind

The expectations of a life not lived; of a life that could have been

With no resemblance of the ‘American dream’

But rather the contradictions of living a life amongst the chaos of the in-between

Between a life here and of his home thousands of miles away

I carried my mother’s undeterred hopes on my shoulders 

The weight sat heavy most days

The pieces rattled and clinked against one another like tarnished silver and copper 

Some pieces darkened and unrecognizable

Which no longer resembled those she had when she first arrived

While others glimmered and gave her the reassurance that

Her sacrifices did not go to waste.

Collected over the years 

So when the sun beamed on and through them,

They sparkled in her eyes

And unexpectedly shined brightly

She carried two suitcases full of memories that belonged to the life she left behind

Las memorias de mi papa

El amor que tuvo que dejar por dos años para 

Cumplir como la hija mayor de la familia y ayudar a mi abuela en una tierra extranjera

The weight on my shoulders has lightened over the years

But there are days when a single memory can weigh down on me. 

Her memories from her home, which she had to leave behind

The expectations of a life not lived; of a life that could have been

With no resemblance of the ‘American dream’

But rather the contradictions of living a life amongst the chaos of the in-between

Between a life here and of her home thousands of miles away

Many years have passed and I now carry my own hopes and dreams on worn shoulders

I still carry my father’s resilience and his determination

And my mother’s kindness and her unwavering empathy

When they look into my eyes, they may see their own, reflecting back at them

When he looks at me, he may see his mother’s strong legs with knees that buckle in slightly

When she looks at me, she may see her mother’s strong will and hear her sharp tongue

They might still see undeterred hopes and shattered dreams, 

But it is my hope that above all else

They will see their daughter

Who navigated the chaos and contradictions of living a life in the in-between

And did her best to make them proud

About the Author

Sandra Saco, Doctoral Student at Arizona State & Somos Escritoras Writing Mentor

Sandra is a proud Peruvian-Chilean-American and child of immigrant parents. Born and raised in Southern California, Sandra grew up transnationally spending her summers in Peru from the age of 4. After earning her B.A’s in Chicana/o Studies and History from U.C.L.A, she moved to Arizona and worked as a high school English teacher for seven years. She is currently a PhD. candidate in English Education at Arizona State University (ASU) and works with pre-service teachers and first-year writing students. Her research focuses on working with Latinx youth unpacking the Latinx diaspora through young adult literature, critical discussion, and storytelling. She hopes that her work and research will encourage Latinx youth to share their own experiences and recognize that their stories matter.

About the Blog Series

The #LatinaLuminaries Blog Series by Somos Escritoras. The series was created to illuminate the wisdom, experiences, voices, and truths of Latina women and girls and the broader Latinx community. The blog series features writing from escritoras (participants) and writing mentors from Somos Escritoras Latinx Writing Workshop. Published Latina authors, writers, poets, and illustrators who presented at our workshop also contributed to the blog series.