Day 16: (Ah-Leh-Gree-uh Mo-Neh De-Leh-on)

(Ah-Leh-Gree-uh Mo-Neh De-Leh-on)

Its exhausting justifying a world not meant for me

Everywhere I go I have to fight myself to stand tall

To not back down 

To correct people

“Allegria Monet DeLeon”

(Ah-Leh-Gree-uh Mo-Neh De-Leh-on)

NOT ALGERIA 

(Al-ger-ia)

NOT ALLEGRA

(All-eg-ria)

No my name is Allegria

(Ah-Leh-Gree-uh)

It's the name that leaves you with a swirl of vowels and accents

The name my parents embedded me with

Because I was going to be a happiness

A gift

A blessing

A light

I was going to be filled with a light and I was going to be happy

Because I was an artist from birth

The words always formed, the pages always filled, and the canvases always changing

Allegria Monet DeLeon

A name meant for a girl, a sweet obedient daughter

A name meant to remind the world that

although Spanish was taken from us just like our indigenous languages before 

they would forever be stained in our roots

Sloshed around with the ancient Spirits

embroidered into my very being

My name is Allegria Monet De Leon

It’s a name meant for my parents only girl 

Because I was their beginning 

The oldest of three

It’s a name meant to be a gift

A blessing

A name meant for their happy little artist 

Allegria Monet De Leon

But over time, this name has become something different

The definition of this name has had to change

I have had to change their perception 

Because I am Somewhere in between 

Somewhere in the middle 

Somewhere far to the left

And a little to the right

With questions hanging around the very essence, I breathe 

As I change and grow 

Allegria to some 

Ally with a Y to most 

Alle with an e for me 

But in the end, it's all me

I am still the one leaving your tongue a mess, a jumble of sounds that leave your mouth with the name that somehow forms my WHOLE identity I perform 

Allegria to Some 

Ally with a y to most 

And Alle with an e just for me

But as school starts again a new beginning 

a new introduction

Hi my name is…?. 

Having to pick from Allegria, Ally with a y and Alle with an e

Because the name was meant to be a gift 

The name meant to be a blessing 

A light

Yet for me it often starts and ends with 

“Oh am I saying that right?’ “Do you just have a nickname?” “Oh that’s so beautiful but I can’t say that!” 

A whirlwind of questions and conversations explaining it all

Overtime becoming exhausting 

Forcing me to constantly code-switch

Allegria to some

Ally with a Y to most

And Alle with an e just for me

Because often I choose to stand tall but I also choose to flee from it all

Because this world reminds me it was not meant for me

I am reminded of that at every turn in life

As much as I fight it

The truth is there because in the end I'm a young woman 

A Mexican American woman

A Tejana 

So I’ll always carry that damage they placed on me as someone who’s different

And now with a new start

A new beginning  

I fight to stand tall always

Hi my name is Allegria…

Allegria Monet DeLeon

I am a tejana artist

I am a future educator 

I am Allegria Monet DeLeon

About the Author

Allegria Monet DeLeon, Freshman at Texas State & Somos Escritoras Alumni

My name is Allegria Monet DeLeon; my pronouns are she/her. I am a Mexican American born and raised in Austin, Texas.  I am 18 and am currently a freshman at Texas State. My current goals include pursuing and furthering my education, especially in the arts, psychology, sociology, and literature, and eventually becoming an art teacher. I want to be remembered as someone who inspired many, took risks, and helped improve the world's social and educational systems. I am so grateful to be a part of Somos since I was in this Writing Workshop starting in 6th grade when Somos first came to Austin, and now I am a junior mentor. 

About the Blog Series

The #LatinaLuminaries Blog Series by Somos Escritoras. The series was created to illuminate the wisdom, experiences, voices, and truths of Latina women and girls and the broader Latinx community. The blog series features writing from escritoras (participants) and writing mentors from Somos Escritoras Latinx Writing Workshop. Published Latina authors, writers, poets, and illustrators who presented at our workshop also contributed to the blog series.